Always Where I Need To Be

| Thursday, September 17, 2009

Alright. So it's been a long time since I last wrote. Yeah, I've been up to a lot. Most of you might not realize this but, learning is very tiring. Some of you must think, "This guy has never worked a day in his life and he's talking about being tired..." let me just say that I've worked on my feet for 9 hours a day and I realize that learning a new language is definitely more tiring. I don't wish to be controversial but, (all though I often am..) I didn't go to Italy to learn a very giddy argentine spanish. French is easily the hardest "Romantic" language to learn. You're just sitting there in class trying to make sense of it. Trying to see if there's a rule that lets you do the same trick to every phrase and then Claire Millet stands there and tells you that it doesn't work. In fact, it only works in this single instance, she'll smile and tell you, "Zaht ees french!"

I realize that I've forgotten how to learn.

Yeah, think about that for a second. It's a crippling feeling right? If you are reading this, you might think, "Well, I have a simple way to learn stuff..." Yeah? Well imagine this. I've been taking photography classes for so long that I've forgotten how to sit down and swallow a book. I've realized that I forgot that method that I used to have to learn stuff and know it permanently. It's an art that only comes through practice. Learning is a non-stop adventure and I believe that I've immersed myself in a place where I can just get caught up in learning and I no longer have the sharp tools to assimilate the knowledge and sort it out. No worries though. After a few hours of studying, I'll find the rhythm. It's like figuring out the right time to wake up to go to class. For a few weeks you wake up at odd times and can't seem to get it right, then all of a sudden, it becomes a routine. Know what I mean?

It's only the first week and I'm getting a hang of French for the most part. Thing is, I forget if I could have understood as much back at home. I try and remember what I could and couldn't understand before and the more time I spend here, the blurrier that line gets. I guess it's a good thing though. It's a bit like thinking that you can't remember when you couldn't understand what you're learning. That must be a good sign.

Baggage. Bloody hell. Understand that baggage is not just something material. Baggage has been haunting me. Funny thing is, it's not even my baggage really. Because of things that are out of my control, I've come to France with baggage that has to be sorted. I am of the faith that it's not good for the mind to just lose baggage. You know the feeling, you're walking through the Promenade and there's a constant thought or tag-line that keeps running through your head. You realize that if you don't let go of this, you'll go crazy. So you try and throw it away, some people like alcohol, some play sports, some even go crazy. I'm the later. It just runs through my head and I go crazy. So the first thing that I do is give this baggage to my heavenly Father. He gave me France. Yes, my Father is that powerful. He can give me a country to learn from. Not just a country, but a people as well. This is His way of being the concierge and saying, "Please. Allow me." I need to just let go of the baggage and let Him handle it. If we can manage to make this process a streamlined one, I'm thinking this whole Christianity thing will be headed on the right path. God makes sure that I'm "Always Where I Need To Be". Thanks Lord.

I don't have a lot to write about this time. I'm more pensive these days. I try and think before I speak. Listening is wonderful. You see things. You realize things that you might never have realized if you were speaking. Normally, the fact that I'm talking will tell you that I'm happy but I've learned a new happiness here. Contemplating is awesome. The view from my room really aids that sort of stuff. I have a view that I'll show in due time. I see the Jura mountains, I see Geneva, and behind me as a constant reminder of what is awesome, I see le Saleve. It's just ridiculous when I just sit here and look at everything and think of a lot of things. I'm in Europe. I wake up every morning and get to stare at one of the pearls of Europe, Geneva. What a majestic city. It's a place where the people are almost pleasantly strange. They just do their thing and don't ask questions. I walked into a camera store here and I was put at ease when I realized that NO ONE was asking me, "Sir, can I help you with anything? Are you sure? I'll be right HERE. (FOLLOWING YOU UNTIL I CAN HELP YOU)." If I want help, I'll ask. These people seem to understand my thoughts exactly. It's brilliant. For October, I might be going to the land where all my dreams are common day realities, England. If this so happens to materialize, I think I'll tear up a bit when I get there. You, yes you, know my London Calling and if I get the chance to relive that experience, you know I will. To the max. Understand that when I take the chunnel and end up at St. Pancras Station, this keyboard can't handle the rush of emotions that my fingers want to express. So there you have it.

Alright, time to transpose all the stuff that I wrote on the back of all of my syllabuses into a proper notebook.